ROMANCE NOVEL'S blog tour has begun!

Guess what? Today I'm blogging about my paranormal romance parody, Romance Novel, with Desiree Holt today! Leave a comment for a chance to win a Starbuck's gift card. PJ http://www.desireeholttellsall.com/

And please stop by my awesome Goddess Fish blog tour for more chances to win!

6/20/2011 Desiree Holt Tells All
6/21/2011 Sugarbeat's Books
6/22/2011 Alisha Paige
6/23/2011 Sue Perkins, Fantasy, Romance & Young Adult Author
6/24/2011 Sexy Adventures, Passionate Tales
6/27/2011 Book Junkie
6/28/2011 Grace Elliot
6/29/2011 Lisa Haselton's Reviews and Interviews
6/30/2011 BK Walker Books, Etc.
7/1/2011 Misc. Ramblings

Five Reasons why self-pubbing ROCKS!

Having published five books under another pen-name through a publisher, I thought I'd share my reasons for believing self-pubbing through Kindle/Nook/Smashwords really does ROCK.

1. IF YOUR BOOK SUCKS, IT'S NOBODY'S FAULT BUT YOUR OWN.
One of my most frustrating experiences as a writer was when my editor made me change the ending of one of my novels, making my heroine choose a path that I didn't believe was right for her. I felt the ending sucked, but what was I to do? Pull my book and not finish out the series? Yes, I do have crit partners that give me their input on the direction of my novel, but as a self-pubbed author, all final decisions are mine!

2. KNOW HOW YOUR BOOK IS SELLING FROM DAY TO DAY, SO YOU CAN ADJUST YOUR MARKETING STRATEGY. If you only get royalty reports every month, quarter or (gasp) year, you won't know if your marketing has paid off and you may miss a lot of potential sales. On the downside, we Kindlers can get a little obsessive with checking our earnings. Guilty as charged!

3. IF YOUR COVER SUCKS, IT'S YOUR FAULT, TOO. That's right. You have to power to shop for artists. Though artwork may be costly, that's one of the downsides of self-pubbing, but, IMHO, it beats having a publisher tell me 'too bad, so sad' if I don't like my cover.

4. YOU DECIDE WHEN THE BOOK IS RELEASED. And you don't need to wait a year after you've finished the book for it to come out. I've had readers email me after a book was released asking me questions about my heroine's motivation, etc... I honestly forgot what happened in the novel. I was too wrapped up in my upcoming release.

5. BACK TO NUMBER ONE - IF YOUR BOOK SUCKS....YOU CAN FIX IT!!! That's right. You've learned a little bit more about the craft of writing since pubbing that bomb a few months ago. Your plot had more holes than FLABIO'S underwear after a spicy chili eating contest. So go pull the darned thing, fill in those holes and upload it again. That's the magic of self-pubbing through Kindle! PJ

How to deal with CRAZY people!

First off, I used to live in Las Vegas. Therefore, you could consider me somewhat of an expert on CRAZY people.

Though there is a debate as to their prevalance or even existence (and belive me, they do exist) unlike demons, vampires or ghouls, you don't need a special sixth sense to detect one. You just need a bit of common sense and maybe a vial of holy water.

Perhaps you knew a potential crazy when you were a child, like Little Lara Ledbetter who swore she would never marry, but would adopt 100 cats when she grew up. In the seventh grade, she wore high heels with tube socks and always rolled each sock into symmetrical do-nuts which stopped at each ankle. Was this some kind of new bizzare fashion trend? Had her cats told her to do it?

My favorite, or least favorite crazy person, was Jesus Christ. No, not that one. The one who picked up his daughter from play group at my house. Oh, yes, I was in for quite a surprise that day. Needless to say, my daughter wasn't too pleased when I told her she was no longer allowed to play with this particular girl. How do you explain to a five-year-old that her best friend's dad scares the crap out of Mommy?

By the way, did you know that Freddy Mercury and other famous celebrities were actually demons in disguise? Did you honestly think such raw musical genius could be possessed by a mere mortal? Pshaw! All this, according to Jesus Dad, who learned this shortly before he arose from the dead.

Yes, Bohemian Rhapsody is one of my all-time favorite songs. And no wonder I love it! Those demons really know how to rock!

So, PJ, how on earth do you deal with crazy people? Look, just smile and learn to take them in stride. They might be having an off day, an off week, possibly an off life. I know I've said some crazy things during my PMS cycle. Even though my PMS can get pretty ugly, I don't recall ever being resurrected from the dead. However, I have threatened to do bodily harm to others.

You see, we've all got a bit of crazy in us. Crazy can be good. After all, life would be pretty boring if we kept them all locked up in Vegas. Except for that flasher who did that really gross thing on the hood of my car in front of a Vegas night club. He can stay in Vegas.

Today's post was inspired by a particular writer friend of mine who is dealing with her own personal crazy.

BTW - My newest novel will be released this summer: DRIVING ME NUTS! - Three mental patients, two loaded guns, one stolen car and a WHOLE lot of trouble!

PJ's List of Annoying Drivers

I wrote this list a while back and recently dug it up when I was cleaning my desktop. This list still has the power to irritate me while making me laugh. Enjoy! PJ

1. Parents who don’t put kids in car seats. Usually these parents are too distracted to drive safely as their little brats are bouncing all around the back seat. Where’s a cop when you need one?

2. Guys who blast their shi**y music with their windows down. Does the whole world want to listen to your crap? No. You think we all care about your expensive stereo, but we don’t. If I want to listen to music, I’ll turn on my own stereo, thank you. My stereo may not be as big as yours, but neither is my ego. Because you’re self centered and insecure, you need the world to listen to your music, so we can validate that you actually are cool.

3. People who load the back of their trucks with too much sh**. In order to save a tank of gas, you’ll try to stuff every scrap of your furniture into one load. Never mind the lawsuit you’ll be facing when your futon crashes through someone’s windshield. So far, I’ve dodged a lawn chair, a glass top coffee table and a mattress. Sorry, but your patio furniture isn’t my idea of a hood ornament.

4. The guy who orders the deluxe car wash for his piece of sh** ’82 rusty Dodge pickup with a missing front fender. Who in the hell is going to notice your Lustra three coat sealant? Save that extra four dollars for a new fender at the junkyard. I’ve got a schedule to keep, and I don’t like wasting my time waiting behind you.

5. The car snob who takes up two parking spaces so his car won’t get scratched. If your car is so damned special, then park it somewhere else – your garage. Borrow your friend’s ’82 rusty Dodge before you learn the hard way. Taking up two spaces will INCREASE your chances of damage to your pretty paint job. Like, the words ASSHOLE scrawled on your driver’s side door in key marks. Maybe you think you’re special because of your expensive car, but unless you’re the guy who massages my feet and makes me howl at night, you’re nobody to me.

From Tragedy to Parody

From Tragedy to Parody. Stop by Rebecca Knight's blog and find out why I wrote ROMANCE NOVEL plus read the hilarious scene that inspired it all! http://rebeccaknightbooks.blogspot.com/

Too Many Ebooks or does someone want to hog the island?

A nice fella by the name of ANDRE posted a blog article that there are too durned many ebooks.

http://coolmainpress.com/ajwriting/

My favurit quote-tashun is how he calls us Kindlers 'hillbillies'.

"My adventures among the unfriendly hillbillies in the Kindle Swamplands..."

Mr. Andre, I don't reckon yur from around my neck of the woods, but Iz sure glad youz smart enough ta writes that article showin' us how dumb we are and all.

He wuz brave enuf ta soil his britches and trudge thru the Kindle muck and post the link ta his article on the Kindle Boards. Some of them Kindle authors is darned near riled up. I ain't no rocket scientist, but I gets the feeling Mr. Andre is tryin' ta hog the epub island and kick all of us other not-so-smart writters off.

That's just my opin-yun. That and about two bucks will git ya a cola and some corn fritters.

Now, normally, I ain't one ta hold no hard feelings, but I'z wanted ta show a little somethin' ta Mr. Andre. See, there, THE ISLAND IS MINE!





And a nutter thing, I gots the last mango, chocolate and Twinkie, (have ta read Kindle Boards ta git that joke) and I ain't sharin it wit nobody, except my fella hillbillie writters! PJ

Celebrate my Cyberlaunch and enter to win a Starbuck's gift card!

Author Island is hosting my launch party today! Won't you join us? Register for a chance to win a Starbuck's gift card!

http://www.cyberlaunchparty.blogspot.com/