Sunday, September 4, 2011

And the Crappiest Poet is....

It’s a tie!
Aren’t I the lucky gal tonight? Having to decide between two men! Alas, I cannot, so I guess they both win!
Rex Jameson, congrats on the release of Lucifer's Odyssey , btw.
This line has earned a place in the anals (or is it annals?) of poetic craptitude.
My love for you overflows onto my cheeks,
like a cup filled with hot, love butter.
George Berger, you are a man after my own heart. How did you know I loved crude?
Roses are white,
and lilies are, too.
My cock-ring's too tight
and my thing's turning blue.
Congrats! You both will receive a certificate celebrating your poetic ineptitude (when I get off my ass and design it sometime this week) plus a free download of either Romance Novel, The Vampire Handbook, or my double-feature parody hopefully releasing this week, Melvin the Dry Cleaning Zombie and Vampire Shoe Warehouse.
Thanks, everyone, for sending me your awesome…er crappy poems! I am definitely thinking this will be an annual event.


  1. I'll take a dive into "The Vampire Handbook" if you don't mind. Looking forward to the certificate. I might put it on my Amazon Author page. Contact info is Cheers!

  2. Most excellent! I'll message you on FB with the Smashword's code and certificate. I wonder how I get ahold of George. Hmmmmm.

  3. Oops. I meant to say I'd email you.

  4. I'll humbly accept your delightful-sounding double-feature. I can be found at mendacities /at/ Google's well-known five-letter e-mail domain...